Do you remember when Tiger Woods could walk on water? Now he just walks over his wife? And the cocktail waitress? And the ‘club promoter’, oh and lets not forget, and the director of VIP services of the Pink Elephant Club?? Hmm… he likes obviously like cocktails. If he’s serious about his marriage maybe he should ask his wife to serve some pina coladas and mohitos, in a bikini.
If there were days that Tiger could walk on water, now someone appears to have put broken bottles in it. I wonder who? Still his sponsors, including Gillette, Nike and Gatorade, are standing by him for now but maybe the world’s number one golfer needs to think about the future.
As every day passes and more details about his private life “transgressions” slip out the Tiger Woods brand lands another bogey.
We don’t want to see Tiger go down in flames (it would be messy) and we need to help tiger ensure that the $100m (£60m) a year he receives from his sponsors doesn’t tail off. So we at CSO have begun the search for new brands Tiger Woods could speak for and don’t worry there isn’t a club or cocktail bar in sight.
Our first suggestion is Fender Bender Insurance – Tiger Woods would be perfect for this. He has form. He knows how to wrap an SUV around a tree.
Our Second suggestion is the Oxford English Dictionary. Tiger you need this brand. You can learn from it as much as it can get from your star power. The first thing you can learn is that a “transgression” is breach of the law – that’s not the same as cheating on your wife with several other women. Apparently.
Thirdly, we think Vodafone would be a fine bet. In this age of smartphones and social networking Tiger could advertise that most basic of telephonic accessories - voicemail. He could be used to illustrates the importance of this in a call to a lady friend in which he asks her to remove her name from her voicemail. Why? Well it could be because his wife has got hold of the number and might be suspicious. Well, it’s an idea…
Oh last thing, if you really want to know what happened, we found this very amusing Asian video detailing the whole Tigergate incident. Honestly it shows the whole thing.
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When you build your brand image on a lie, this is what happens.
If you tell the world you’re squeaky clean then you better had be. In the age of the professional paparazzi you’ll never get away with it for very long. Sponsors will leave, but they’ll do it quietly when contacts come up for renewal… it’s not polite to leave before his wife does now is it?
Let’s face it, he’s a talented golfer, not a saint. He’s earned a lot of money but that particular gravy train has just left his station. i won’t be shedding any tears for him but if his wife is looking to return the favour to him, I’m available for private hire!!