Celebrity Sell Out

For once the caption has been ready made

So the celebrity chefs are taking their brands and heading down under. According to a report in the Daily Telegraph (Television chefs look to conquer Australia) both Rick Stein and Ramsay are heading to Australia to open up their overpriced cafes in an effort to extend their crumbling empires. It’s the UK recession that has led them to leave us and proof if you ever needed it that there is such a thing as a silver lining.

It is worth noting at this point that Celebrity Sell Out actually predicted time was running out for the chefs (well hope is a more accurate description). If you’re in doubt check out Ramsay’s recent financials – profits down 87% over 12 months. But we have mixed feelings on the bush tucker move, nice as the idea is of Ramsay et al running away to Aus, it’s only a short-term solution.

It’s like swine flu, you get rid of it from one country and it’ll come back again. Likewise with the chefs. Their UK restaurants might be as doomed as a bankers bonus, but in Australia apparently life is sweet with little signs of recession. This means that if they succeed they might come back to us when things improve.

On the other hand it’s hard not to smile at the thought of Ramsay taking his Maze concept to Australia. I’ve never been to Australia, but I have been to Maze and found it the most ridiculous restaurant I’ve ever eaten in. I’d explain it thus: massive prices for titchy little portions. The idea is you buy lots of them (it was seven or eight courses if I remember rightly). I never have desserts, but because I was still hungry at the end I ordered ice cream and what a waste of time and money that was. I could have scooped out more with my little finger.

What is almost more surprising is that the Aussies are letting Ramsay stay after his recent rant against high-profile Australian TV journalist Tracy Grimshaw at the Good Food and Wine Show in Melbourne.

Ramsay told an audience of several thousand people that Grimshaw was “a lesbian”. This unsurprisingly caused gasps and led the chef to keep digging:”What? I’m not saying she’s a dike”. He also said she needed to see “Simon Cowell’s Botox doctor”.

This led Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd to brand him a low life. So Gord don’t count on getting many covers from Canberra’s political elite.

As a final thought I can only wonder whether Australia is the right place for such an idea, after all there are an awful lot of Australians there. Australia is  the home of Neighbours and that strange game where large boned men jump around in vests and speedos groping each other’s bottoms. Maybe they’ll love it Gordon, but I’d suggest you get yourself a barbie around the back for when they ask for the main course.

For more check out the video below. Apologies for the music, but it gives a marvellous idea of how small these dishes are. And if you still decide to go, then you need to learn how to chew a small amount of food for a long time. Oh and pop into M&S for a sandwich beforehand.