Sting: Tantric and Chianti
The problem with Sting is it’s impossible to write anything about him without mentioning ‘tantric sex’. However the ex-Police frontman has decided to take a break from having it off while standing on his head to indulge in another passion, fine wine. Yes, the man who has been simultaneously criticised for nicking lyrics from Shakespeare while being responsible for the song De Do Do Do De Da Da Da has produced around 30,000 bottles of wine on his Tuscan estate. Asked about whether he has a brand for the plonk Sting is alleged to have replied that he did not have a ‘message in a bottle’ yet.
Anyhow word is Sting also grows nuts, jam and olive oil, although there is no word on whether he is planning to flog that as well. Furthermore he’s planning to open a shop on the estate. At the end of the day everyone needs money, but if he’s interested in grocery there must be an easier way to sell out. For example surely Morrisons could step in and give him an ad slot warbling on about apples or something, he could only be better than Alan Hansen and the little bloke of off Top Gear.
Of course in sellout terms nothing could beat Sting’s previous form, ie reforming The Police and going on a worldwide tour to pump out those old covers.
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