Celebrity Sell Out

[caption id="attachment_590" align="alignleft" width="175" caption="I'm smiling coz I just gave a load of CDs away for next to nothing"][/caption] Claws out, the catty slashing was well underway between Brit singer and tabloid fav Lily Allen and American celebrity blogger Perez Hilton yesterday, when the old enemies broke out with an exchange of expletives that would have even Lily's dad Keith Allen coming over all Mary Whitehouse.

If handbags and dawn were the weapons and time of this duel between celebrity Allen and, er, the world's most famous self professed blogger Perez, then Twitter was the place.

It began thus: Allen's new album 'It’s Not Me, It’s You' has just reached number one in the US. This led Hilton to ask his followers to persuade Allen to give him a role in her next music video.

Sharp as the nails on a media whore and as quick as a blowjob from aforementioned whore, Allen retorted: "Oh, I’m sorry, we've already cast the jealous and bitter lonely old queen role. Next time eh?"

Round one to Allen.

But a riled, yet still energised Hilton came back with: "Jealous of who? If I wanted to be a fucked up Brit, I’d be Amy Winehouse – who’s got talent."

Ow!

It went on. And on…

"God, you’re like so obsessed with me its embarrassing," Twittered Allen.

"Congrats on your album doing so well in America," Hilton responded graciously, before delivering an under-the-belt blow, because of course he wasn't being nice at all, but sarcastic: "It’s REALLY HARD to sell copies when u discount it to $3.99. Desperate!"

Kapow!

But our Lily spat back: "It’s also No.1 elsewhere in the world, douchebag. Go away you little parasite."

And then possibly the hardest-hitting salvo of the entire exchange was fired by Hilton.

"Aw, u can see I’ve lost weight! I am a littler Perez," it began innocuously, before a killer line that would have Oscar Wilde spinning in his grave: "But I’m still a big fat c**t- just like you U!"

A line, I think you will agree, with both wit and charm.

Although, he refuses to give up, maybe because he's in London for the Brits, his latest Twitter is this: "Wanna see Lily's vagina???? Check it out! http://tinyurl.com/d6nn74

I didn't look. I'm at work. It would be wrong.

From this point on, the contretemps petered out, with both parties presumably taking some time to lie back and puff on the fighting equivalent of a post coital fag (post-fight fag, I guess).

But, then in an so-obvious-it's-clearly genius and highly appropriate epilogue to this drama, Lily Allen blocked Perez Hilton from following her on Twitter. Knock out!

Well, I suppose if you are so desperately chasing America with $3.99 CDs then you don't really want to shout about it too loudly.