Celebrity Sell Out

There is no such thing as bad publicity, or so the adage goes. It might be that the British thesp and latter-day Hollywood ‘hunk’ Christian Bale is mulling over this very thought – with the odd expletive thrown in - following his verbal broadside at a minion on the set of ‘Terminator Salvation’, in which he plays freedom fighter John Connor.

Now lets be clear, we know Bale has not sold out. Apart from a brief stint advertising milk while wearing a Batman costume that is. However, now could be the time to grasp the nettle that is marketers’ pound and flog some products on the back of his newfound bad boy persona.

Therefore it should come as no surprise we heard a rumour of a rumour from

a source in the pub that Baley has some commercials lined up where he is planning to method act his way into a Coronation Street ad break.

Ok we don’t really know what he is doing, or even if he cares. But  we do, so here is a list of sellout options that would be perfect for the Bale brand should he dispense with making real actor art like…er…’Terminator’ and ‘Batman’.

1. Hamlet Cigars. All it needs is a 180 degree turnaround by Ofcom and we could be seeing another psycho-performance finished off by a whiffy cigar. As the line goes “Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet” would be the perfect end to Baley losing a fight against the studio lighting.

2. Cadburys Caramel. The 80s ad where the she-hare with the sexy voice (rated as one of the sexiest voices of all time by men in their 30s) tells the beaver to calm is a classic. Even more classic would be bringing her back and watching Bale’s reaction to her trying to cool his jets.

3.  Volkwagen new ad where the designer beats up himself in an attempt to design a new car. Ok the ad got banned by Ofcom and we’re not sure about the relevancy to cars, but we’re sure Bale could do a great job of beating himself up with out the need for CGI.

4. Jack Daniels. Something that make itself up to be perfect and developed over time, but actually produces rather cheap crap. All attributes that would make Christian Bale a fine endorsee for the sickliest whiskey in the world.

5. Alternatively InBev could bring him in to endorse its…ahem…premium lager brand Stella Artois. The star of Empire of the Sun whose mother and sister have allegedly made allegations to police about him attacking them would be perfect to launch derivatives for what some call “wife beater”.

Of course maybe there are some would-be marketers out there who could suggest other brands for Mr Bale to endorse…